I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
