Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize