my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Randomize
