Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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