He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
