Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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