you would pick up someone in the library
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
