i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
