dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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