xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize