I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
