You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
