That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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