Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
