drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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