It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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