She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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