Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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