There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
