I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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