Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize