The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize