and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
