puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
