Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
