I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
not ubering you a puppy
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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