We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
