I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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