ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I didn't notice because vodka
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize