wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
