we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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