Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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