there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
