So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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