you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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