I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up under a house in Key West
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