Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
