dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
