So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
