my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
