you traded sex for a burrito?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You were trust falling into bushes
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
