You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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