the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
