Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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