I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
