we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize