remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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