Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
