she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
