Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
