Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
