what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
