I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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