; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize