Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
