Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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