I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
