Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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