I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
