i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
should my penis look like a turkey
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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