areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
And then he peed in my hair
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