She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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