how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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