Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
