I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This baby is an asshole
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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