is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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