is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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