I think I am morally bankrupt
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
