I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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